He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
