ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
