Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
