I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
vagina is talking i cant
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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