if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
