my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
