Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i think i just lost a toe
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
