i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
