i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize