forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
