I think i peed on brittanys purse
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
