I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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