you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
