It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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