Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
