Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
