So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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