dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
