Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
