you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
