watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
