Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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