is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
