how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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