gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
