put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
