You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize