I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
