how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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