Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
