D3 body, D1 cock
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
