i will never coherently bang her
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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