bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
