I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
