Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
