Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Found the puke drawer
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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