its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
