so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
