Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
