This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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