I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
