Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
