nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
