walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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