She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
