She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
