I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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