Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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