i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize