Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
