This girl is more easily done than said...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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