Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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