is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
