problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize