Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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