Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
