how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
