There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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