when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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