he wants to bone in the snuggie
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize