Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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