i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Randomize
