I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It was a blind-side dick pic.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
