You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
