This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
