the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize