I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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